You know how it is when you feel time slipping. Everyone you know is becoming estranged, with every barrier imagined possible. And you overdramatize and you oversensitize, counting the ways you can avoid much of humanity; counting the ways you can fly under all radars.
Possibly, I have been running away. Running away from eye contact and social activities that used to keep me sane. Also, the notion of every good, positive thing. I used to like song, and re-enacting, revisiting memories with relish. It was nice, bearing my shakey emotionless voice that tapered off flatly, without a care in the world, hoping that someway somehow it would touch and rouse someone. But now I cannot bring myself to sing again, pretending all that.
If you're worried after reading this entry, don't be. It's mainly catharsis. I can't think of anything else to write that would reflect me at this point, albeit exagerratedly. There is joy, great joy, somewhere deep inside me, but obscured by my short-sighted, cramped concerns that seem to dash me against every stone in sight.
I'm simply fatigued.
But thank God for sustaining me thus far. (: He's my light, and I hold to Him with my heart.