The last, longing look
"And it came to pass, when they had brought them forth abroad, that he said, Escape for thy life; look not behind thee, neither stay thou in all the plain; escape to the mountain, lest thou be consumed."- Gen 19:17
"Then the LORD rained upon Sodom and upon Gomorrah brimstone and fire from the LORD out of heaven; and he overthrew those cities, and all the plain, and all the inhabitants of the cities, and that which grew upon the ground. But his wife looked back from behind him, and she became a pillar of salt."- Gen 19:24-26
The longing look. The look that cost Lot's wife her life.
And yet, many of us still take longing looks back despite many warnings. Countless ones, even. Though in the guise of a friendly reminder or nudge to stop doing a certain something, an invitation to a Gospel message, even an exhortation to read the Bible that someone gave you as a gift. But the longing looks never stop. It's always one last look, one last chance to do something other than that thing that has always been at the back of your mind, that thing which you know is important, but just can't come round to doing- seeking the truth. [this is not a discourse on absolute truths. sorry]
Lot's wife fled. She was warned along with Lot to get away from the city, for it was going to be destroyed. Sodom and Gomorrah was fast going to become dust, and with both the urgency and gravity of this message, there was no reasonable reaction rather than to flee. To run as fast as she could as the fire and brimstone raged, but she ended up looking back and turned into a pillar of salt. She looked because she couldn't concentrate on the fleeing without taking that last glimpse. She looked because she hoped that she would be back in that morally decayed city. She looked because she had an attachment to the place- it was her home. It was logically impossible to conceive of a life outside of Sodom and Gomorrah because she had spent so much time there.
And sometimes as we continue to look back- we can't concentrate on the real search for the truth. We hope to continue in our present states, being designated creatures of habit. We don't sense the urgency because there's no actual fire and brimstone. We're comfortable having a vague concept of what we believe in, as long as it doesn't prick our consciences to realize that there is an actual God out there that sent His son to die for us, and we are henceforth to live this life only for Him. Once knowing the full weight of this glorious truth, we know that we're accountable to a greater being. It's too implausible to stomach, some think. It's too difficult, even. It would change so many of the paradigms I live my live to the tune of. Such a hassle. I might as well wait until I'm on the verge of death or have been through a life-changing experience to want to fully accept with great conviction all that has been told to me. But right now, I'm fine living in this half-ignorant state.
My friends, we're on this earth for only a little while. Even if you don't believe in the afterlife, you do have to acknowledge that life is unpredictably short, and thus it is extremely important to be particularly sure about every single thing that you believe in. If you've made up your mind that there is a God, a Jesus Christ, and an afterlife, others will ask why. You need to be firmly grounded- have a faith built upon solid rocks. And that belief should define the way you live life. Been laying up your treasures in heaven?
If you don't believe, then are you 100% certain? Sometimes convictions are built upon sand that is moulded by the tide that ebbs and flows. Are you rigorously challenging yourself to find out the truth? If you are not, you will find that at the end of your life, when you're well and settled with firm beliefs, your life had been whiled away by the wrong focus and principles you were living by before the long years of life cemented you in what you REALLY believed in. By then, it would be a little too late.
"I am come into my garden, my sister, my spouse: I have gathered my myrrh with my spice; I have eaten my honeycomb with my honey; I have drunk my wine with my milk: eat, O friends; drink, yea, drink abundantly, O beloved. I sleep, but my heart waketh: it is the voice of my beloved (Christ) that knocketh, saying, Open to me, my sister (the church), my love, my dove, my undefiled: for my head is filled with dew, and my locks with the drops of the night. I have put off my coat; how shall I put it on? I have washed my feet; how shall I defile them? My beloved put in his hand by the hole of the door, and my bowels were moved for him. I rose up to open to my beloved; and my hands dropped with myrrh, and my fingers with sweet smelling myrrh, upon the handles of the lock. I opened to my beloved; but my beloved had withdrawn himself, and was gone: my soul failed when he spake: I sought him, but I could not find him; I called him, but he gave me no answer."- Song of Solomon 5:1-6
The truth shall make you free. I do hope you don't ever resist the Lord's call to salvation.... because if you do, you won't get rest till you accept Him as your Lord and Saviour. He alone is our perfect peace!