Forgiveness
"When it comes to a question of our forgiving other people, it is partly the same and party different. It is the same because here also, forgiving does not mean excusing. Many people seem to think it does. They think that if you ask them to forgive someone who has cheated or bullied them you are trying to make out that there was really no cheating or no bullying. But if that were so, there would be nothing to forgive. They keep on replying, 'But I tell you the man broke a most solemn promise.' Exactly: that is precisely what you have to forgive. (This doesn't mean that you must necessarily believe his next promise. It does mean that you must make every effort to kill every taste of resentment in your own heart- every wish to humiliate or hurt him or to pay him out.).... One must therefore begin by attending to everything which may show that the other man was not so much to blame as we thought. But even if he is absolutely fully to blame we still have to forgive him; and even if ninety-nine per cent of his apparent guilty can be explained away by really good excuses, the problem of forgiveness begins with the one per cent of guilt which is left over. To excuse what can really produce good excuses is not Christian charity; it is only fairness. To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.
This is hard. It is perhaps not so hard to forgive a single great injury. But to forgive the incessant provocations of daily life- to keep on forgiving the bossy mother-in-law, the bullying husband, the nagging wife, the selfish daughter, the deceitful son- how can we do it? Only, I think, by remembering where we stand, by meaning our words when we say in our prayers each night 'forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those that trespass against us.' We are offered forgiveness on no other terms. To refuse it is to refuse God's mercy for ourselves. There is no hint of exceptions and God means what he says."- CS Lewis, The Weight of Glory at 135-136.
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CS Lewis illuminated the principle which I recently discovered for myself from the Bible, to forgive on the account that you are forgiven, not because the person is deserving of your forgiveness. We trample on each other every day with our actions and words, words especially. A single line from a teacher in class can mar the confidence of a student. A criticism and a false accusation from a lover can scar one for life. A comment from a parent can further erect the walls of insecurity of a child. But forgiveness is necessary, absolutely necessary. If not, we carry around baggage like no other, and trample on others, ourselves.
Forgiveness is necessary to move on. To see a better, brighter picture. We need a good dose of it every day- for the "bossy mother-in-law, the bullying husband, the nagging wife, the selfish daughter, the deceitful son"... the things that grate us. Someone has offended you, someone has bruised you by knocking stones into your shins incessantly, but you need to apply your own balm and turn away from his belligerent self and tell yourself, "Yes, the bruises don't lie. But they will heal, and even if he hits me again, I will do the same thing- forgive him."
"I will do so, because there is something greater than avoiding pain and misery. There is the greatness of being forgiven by Someone to whom I did a worse thing compared to knocking shins with stones. He bore my sins on HIS own body. I was a child of wrath and disobedience but then I became a child of light, and He forgave me. He did not count any of the things I did against Him vilely as evidence for a charge on myself. Because I understand His forgiveness, I want to live this out. Let me say that I am not afraid of someone hurting my reputation, my feelings, my life anymore- the greatness and effect of Your forgiveness for what I've done has taught me to forgive them. "
And that was one aspect of what I was meditating on today in the morning, with my eyes fixed on the field at the upper quad: "But I do not account my life any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I have received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the grace of the gospel of Christ."- Acts 20:24
Because I can make no claim on my life (it is only precious because YOU deem it precious) I will let go when people offend ... it's simple.
I forgive others, because I am forgiven. Fully, wonderfully, gloriously forgiven. (: